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Hello.

There are stories we tell to one-up each other, and then there is this blog. Read wondrous tales of strange creatures, explore the depths of human indecency, and hopefully laugh a little as we find out what could possibly make people do what they do.

Ugh, Bagels

Ugh, Bagels

I got caught slipping again today. Office bagels. Panera bagels. With cream cheese.

Such a sucker.

That makes it two times this month where I veered from my intermittent fasting to carboload ad infinitum. Not good.

Sunday should whip me into shape real quick. Why? Because I changed the plan.

My plan from my first Healthy Hammer post put into motion a series of arduous fitness tasks for me to accomplish so I wouldn’t be as big come the remainder of winter. The results have been mixed. I changed up my diet in December and shed a bunch of weight. Did squats in January and lost almost nothing (but gained some killer gams), and started push ups in February to get me started for what I thought was going to be 100 burpees.

One problem, it’s still cold outside and there’s no space for me to do burpees that isn’t … moist.

Insert jumping jacks.

I got the idea from watching a video of Donald Driver do some for a youth health promo video. And if it’s good enough for Donald Driver, well, it’s going to kick my ass because that dude is a genetic freak and probably a robot. Here’s what’s officially on the docket for the rest of the year, and how the other shit went down.

January: 100 squats

BEGINNING

SENSORY DEPRIVATION TANK

RESULTS

February: 100 pushups 200 LEFT!

BREAKFAST WOES

March: 300 jumping jacks

April: 100 burpees

May: 200 Russian Twists (100 each side)

June: 200 in & outs

July: 3 one-minute planks

August: 100 triceps dips (bench)

September: 3 one-minute wall sits

October: 100 Supermans

November: 100 lunges (50 each side)

December: 100 Spider-Man pushups

Jumpin' Jack Flash

Jumpin' Jack Flash

I Ate Breakfast Today

I Ate Breakfast Today