An ABysmal April
What didn’t go right this month!
Between unemployment and the stimulus not paying out, I also had to pay $1,500 to the dentist for an emergency root canal and crown. To top it all off, it was my ab month.
What went right? Well, I had a workout partner most days. That made the time fly by faster. She’s also my Sunday puzzle partner. And my mom.
And it looks like I may have lost some more weight. But the scale broke last month so I have no update on that front. I can guess a few pounds, but I have no solid information to work with other than … shorts gravity?
January: 100 Squats
February: 100 Pushups
March: 300 Jumping Jacks
The abs. Oh, the abs.
I have never been told to breathe more in my entire life. Like, a lot. Why am I forgetting to breathe?
Even by the dentist. He told me to breathe through the crown placement. In my defense, he was sawing parts of the crown to fit into my head so it was a tad unnerving.
Get it? It’s a root canal pun. Because they … never mind.
But breathing and working out? That should come naturally. Turns out, it isn’t.
Russian twists were no problem. Planks had their share of other, more animalistic noises. My troubles were during one routine in particular — boat pose.
And I was doing the cheap version of boat pose where your legs are at an angle instead of straight in front of you (putting you in a V shape). You ever get so focused about doing the right thing that you forget to do the easy thing?
I added a rest day every six days, which helped some. I also didn’t do the workout on the root canal or crown days. Those were 2-hour plus nap days. There’s just something about dentistry that makes me sleepy.
Tomorrow is the last ab day before rolling into the next thing. What’s the next thing?
Old May: 80 Triceps Dips (bench/chair)
Welp, another month without a gym really limits my surfaces from which I can utilize. I was really hoping to get a bench to use, and there are no suitable chairs in this house to support my wide shoulder-width hand placement.
I’ve been researching some back exercises to do without weights or pull-up bars. Despite my crowning achievement in 2019 of doing several pull-ups, I don’t have a pull-up bar, nor would I trust any door frame in my house to support one.
I am erasing October’s Superman routine, and May’s existing triceps dips in favor of the following:
New May: Back Medley (4 Sets of 8: Supermans, Reverse Snow Angels, Good Mornings with Bo Staff, Bridge)
Now, I have to be up front about these. I am taking a lot of cues from the pilates world of training. A few of these even came from a site promising to “allow you to look your best in the most revealing dresses.”
You’ll have to be the judge of that when you see me in June.
I’m hoping to hold each Superman and Reverse Snow Angel for 3 seconds, but if this medley is anything like the ab medley, then that’s a Week 3 issue. Also, the Bo Staff is just a spare curtain rod my brother uses for karate training.
June: 80 Spider-Man Crunch (40 Each Side)
July: 100 Burpees
August: Ab Medley (4 Sets of 30 seconds: Russian Twists, Planks, Boat Pose, Shimmies)
September: 3 One-Minute Wall Sits
October: Axed
IF the world successfully opens back up and plans I have in place hold, there will be even less gym time that I would like, so I can’t simply place old May’s workout here. I’ll be, fingers crossed, in both Seattle and Miami during October, so space and time will be at a premium.
November: 100 lunges (50 each side)
December: Ab Medley (4 Sets of 30 seconds: Russian Twists, Planks, Boat Pose, Shimmies)